Heaven Took Him
by KaT aka Mistress Shinigami
Summary: light 5xS; ~Heaven told me they took him somewhere. Have I seen you before~ Wufei is declared MIA by the Preventers, and soon his status becomes legally dead. How does that effect his partner...r/r!


A/N: Something I came up with on a whim. Really...all my fics seem to be spawned by a whimsical idea. Anywho, this is to the Default song "Somewhere". It's a twist from my normal POV fics. This one's from Sal's POV.

Disclaimer: I don't own the song, nor do I own Gundam Wing.

"Heaven Took Him"

I've seen your face somewhere before, I swear.

Could it be I've met you somewhere else?

I stared absently at the picture in my hand. It's a group shot of a few Preventers. It's been handled so many times that the corners are bent, but I barely take notice of this insignificant fact. There are three people in that shot: Heero, Wufei and myself. I remember the day it was taken...one and a half years ago. Duo had brought a camera to work that day, and he had caught Wufei and I working on a report. He had pushed Heero into the shot right before taking it, and still the Perfect Soldier was not caught off guard. In the last second Heero had thrown his hand up to cover his face.

All in all, the picture is really quite humorous, and I was able to produce a small, yet wry smile. Wufei and I are bent over a report, and the ex-pilot has a small smile on his face. I can't exactly remember what was said, but it must have been good to be able to make him smile. And in the corner of the picture, Heero is standing, hand thrown up to cover his face, eyes glaring straight at the camera.

Duo came perilously close to losing his braid that day.

For some reason, the fond memory doesn't cheer me, and I place the picture on the oak table I am seated at. The happy memory merely serves as a reminder of sorrow, because hardly a week after Duo brought in that camera, Wufei went on his last mission. 

I still have a hard time believing he's gone forever. In fact, when Une declared him MIA, there was actually no doubt in my mind that he would come back. I was even leader of the search team that was sent in hopes of rescuing him. There wasn't a fiber in my body that believed we wouldn't find him. Maybe that made the reality even harder to comprehend. And to think I was the level-headed one. Maybe the smack in the face by cold truth was a wake-up call.

It's the way you turn and look at me

Your eyes are different but they're much the same 

  


I shake my head in disgust...I'm still thinking about the day he went missing. Guilt washes over me, for I was on the mission with him. It was a simple investigation mission in China. We were staying in a small town near Beijing in order to keep close tabs on the group we were to be collecting information from. We had separated in order to get the job done quickly. It should have been a walk-in-the-park mission. It should have been easy as pie, in the bag. And he was a Gundam pilot! Cripes, if anyone could have been captured by this minority group, I would have expected it from a rookie recruit.

Sighing, I stand and walk outside onto the lonely Beijing streets. The sun is just beginning to set, casting an orange glow on the city. I had moved to Beijing shortly after Wufei was declared legally dead. I ran a small Preventer branch here, but it was a tiny section and didn't handle many missions.

I look up sharply as I see a young man walking a small ways in front of my. His inky black hair is pulled back in a sharp ponytail, and he is garbed in a traditional white martial arts outfit; my heart speeds up of its own accord. I watch him closely as he turns and looks at me, and any hope I have of recognition dies quickly. His eyes are a dull brown, and he looks at me in slight boredom. Wufei's eyes would have been much deeper, and burning with raw intensity. I silently berate myself for being so hopeful and foolish. 

The sad part is, that is not the first time this has happened. Every time I meet someone on the street that even partially looks like Wufei, hope floods through me, setting me up for the disappointment when I see that the men are never Wufei. I am constantly haunted by look-alikes, and I'm never sure if the men actually look like my ex-partner, or if they are figments of my wishful thinking. Perhaps I am longing for the original.

Have I seen you before?

Have I seen you before?

I stop walking and stand still, lifting my arms as a warm breeze washes over me. It constantly unnerves me how much I miss the serious youth. Well, not a youth anymore. If he were alive he would be 21 years old–hardly a child. Maybe it's because I always felt drawn to him, and the tortured soul within him. I hadn't been lying when I told him he had a strong heart. I just wish it was beating now...

Even after he had been legally declared dead, I couldn't allow myself to believe it. Only until three months ago, when the terrorist group he was captured by had been foiled, did I truly believe the declarations. Preventers had searched and sifted through prisons and dungeons throughout the organization, but searches came up empty-handed. Despair clung to my heart, and I often wondered when I had become so close to Wufei that his death could affect me on such a high level. 

  


I'll admit it, I cried. A person with so much potential and so much to live for had it all stripped away from them. And not just any person–this was one of my friends...my partner. But still, months after his death, I am haunted by visions of the Chinese pilot, and my dreams are nightmares of torture and sorrow. Perhaps I should see a psychiatrist. I smile sardonically. I'm a bit of a head-case, and this may seem arrogant–but I don't think a psychiatrist will solve my problem. No one can solve my problem–the only one who can isn't of this Earth anymore. Or this universe, for that matter. 

I've never really been one to commit to a religion. I guess that would categorize me as atheist, but that just doesn't seem right. Coworkers have told me that it was just his time to go, and that he was probably smiling down on us from Heaven. I shake my head dubiously at those people, not bothering to hide my complete doubt. If there really is a Heaven...then why would Wufei be needed there? It can't be his time to go...

Heaven told me that they took him somewhere

Have I seen you before?

So now everyone would have me believe that my ex-partner is looking down on me from some nirvana–some Heaven–and laughing at my ignorance, while smiling at my accomplishments. I have trouble believing that. Rationality has always been big with me, and I'm a "see and believe" person. Too level-headed to believe such nonsense, but too hopeful to totally deny it.

For some reason my contemplations always bring me back to one point: the Heaven issue. If we're all tied down by fate, and our destinies are pre-determined, then that means that it was his time to leave this Earth, and I don't mean go to the colonies. I refuse to accept that fact, because I feel–somehow, that his fate is linked with mine. I feel incomplete without him here, and such necessity isn't meant to be broken. If this whole ordeal has affected me so much, then it cannot be predetermined. No God–no loving Creator–would viciously strip Wufei from this world. 

Some may disagree with me, and they would have a few valid points to go on. It's true that Wufei murdered during the war, but his heart is not evil. I know that–if they exist, then Wufei has a pure soul. Or had a pure soul. Hell if I wasn't thinking in present tense right then. But it was true: he had a pure heart, and I wish so much that it was still beating strongly.

It still amazes me how much his death has affected me. It always seemed that I was the one who changed him, but–gods, he changed me so much. And I miss that. I miss his intense eyes and demeanor, his wry humor and even his traditionalist views. Right or wrong, if I could have anything in the universe, I would wish for him to be alive once more.

Is that selfish of me?

Heaven told me that they took you somewhere

Have I seen you before?

I turn around on the empty sidewalk, making towards my home once more. The warmth of the house greets me as I step inside, but it doesn't feel as cozy as usual. Maybe it's because I feel so cold and empty inside.

  


The picture is lying on the table where I had placed it. I can't help myself as I pick it up gingerly, worrying the edges with my fingers. I had been with him on that mission...right before splitting up he had wished me good luck. I remember smiling and telling him not to worry, he'd be seeing me in another fifteen minutes anyway. Oh gods, how wrong I'd been. 

There are so many things I could have–should have done. If only to make his time in this world a little easier. He wouldn't have appreciated my coddling, though. Maybe I did all I could for him. I hope he is happy–wherever he is. I have the sudden desire–impulse–to buy a Bible. Or maybe visit a temple. I want his soul to be _somewhere._ I can't take the thought that he is just out of existence.

Death has never scared me before, but it frightens me now.

I was with him when he left us

I feel he never really left at all.

I place the picture face-down onto the small table. Just looking at it hurts me, and the eerie silence and introspection of it all unnerves me. I try to chide myself for being so weak and foolish. My insults don't hit home, though, and I merely sink deeper into my own little world...an angst-filled, depressed world. 

I want so much to be happy again. I want to walk to work smiling, complete my paperwork smiling, and go to bed smiling. When I greet my friends and they ask how I'm doing, I want to say "fine" and _mean it_. I'm tired of moping, I'm tired of sadness and I'm just plain tired!!

My feet brush against the soft carpet as I make my way towards the bathroom. The sink is creamy porcelain, and I rub my hand along the surface, eyes downcast. I can't bring myself to look in the mirror; I know what I'll see, and I can't stand it. I don't want to see my sallow skin, dulling hair and lifeless eyes. 

I'm just so tired!

When I'm looking in this mirror

I see you in me and I feel so proud.

I finally build up the courage to raise my eyes to the mirror, and I look just as I thought. I try and produce a smile, but it looks more like a grimace of pain than a gesture of happiness. In the back corner of the mirror I see a dark figure whose outline looks quite familiar. I whip my head around quickly, half-expecting to see my long-lost partner behind me, giving me a half-smile, half-smirk.

Of course, there's no one there. No one's ever there.

And now I am seriously considering psychiatric help.

The shrill ringing of my vid-phone breaks my thoughts, and I run a hand through my disheveled hair absently, once again preparing my cheerful facade. Most saw through me–I was never good at being something I'm not.

  


Lady Une's face appears on the screen, and I can't help but wonder why she would call me. Sure, she checks up once in awhile on our Preventer branch, but she always calls me from the office during work hours. She never calls me while I'm home.

Have I seen you before?

Have I seen you before?

"Hello, Sally," she says in greeting. "How've you been doing?" Funny you should ask.

Horrible. "Great." I really am a terrible liar.

"Well, I'm calling from the hospital," like I couldn't tell with the bleach-white walls behind you. 

"Why are you at the hospital?" I inquire, playing with my fingers absently. If I look too long at the screen, she will be able to see the haunted look in my eyes.

"Well an amnesia patient they admitted here a few months ago just recovered his memory," she replied, her brown eyes warm and happy.

Okay, stop playing with my fingers. She has my whole attention.

Heaven told me that they took him somewhere

Have I seen you before?

"He wanted to talk to you..." here Une trailed off, standing up and moving from the vid-phone. Another person immediately fell into the seat she had vacated. He had jet-black hair and intense obsidian eyes...

Is this another figment of my wishful thinking...or is Chang Wufei really alive and on the other end of the vid-phone?

I can't help the hand that flies to my mouth to muffle the "Oh gods" that escaped my lips as a half-sob, half-cry.

"Hello Sally," he stated, and I swear over the long miles he could hear my heart beating wildly. Quieter, he whispered, "I'm sorry for what I've put you through."

I was never good with facades.

"Don't you dare do that again," I managed to choke out desperately, and he smiled at me from across the Earth.

"Do you have an extra position open at the Beijing branch?" he inquired.

  


Oh, hell yeah.

"Of course," I replied. And I was even able to produce a smile.

Heaven told me that they took you somewhere

Have I seen you before?

A/N: I don't like the way this turned out. I was planning on making the whole phone call a dream sequence…but I'm too nice for that. I had to bring Wufei back…death fics aren't any fun ~_^

Please please review! Luvvies, KaT aka Mistress Shinigami


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